Tethered Soul
by Power Of Universe
Summary: A body is only a container for the soul. Eyes can see how the body degenerates over the years but not inside it. When Harry's soul is once again placed into a new body, he wondered how much of his soul had already deteriorated, chipped and cracked over time. Fem!Tired!MOD!Harry
1. Chapter 1: Again

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from Harry Potter and Boku no Hero Academia.

* * *

 **Full Summary:** A body is only a container for the soul. Eyes can see how the body degenerates over the years but not inside it. When Harry's soul is once again placed into a new body, he wondered how much of his soul had already deteriorated, chipped and cracked over time. Fem!Tired!MOD!Harry

* * *

 **General Warnings:** AU, language, gender bending, slow burn, unhealthy coping method

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hello. Another fanfic was born while I'm on hiatus. Again. I'm distracting myself. And no, I'm not abandoning Alese Yeager. Now I understand why authors write so many stories — it is so that they can alternate from one story to another when they get writer's block.

Harry is an unreliable narrator in this, so just bear with it when it is in Harry's POV, which is a lot.

I'll be posting Gaining Innocence after this, so check it out later.

Enjoy. And please let me know what you think about this story.

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** Again

* * *

Birth was messy.

Birth was loud.

At one point somewhere (sometimes before), it had been a traumatizing experience. Not now though. Nowadays, instead of confusion and fear, he was filled with dread and apprehension. Exasperation. Once again he was awake and aware, shoved into the living world by Death.

(Wasn't that just ironic?)

He was used to this, unfortunately, squeezing sensation around his body. A pinch on his skin and then a breezy wind on his naked form. He was lifted off by the hands of either a doctor or midwife like some kind of precious treasure. He was expected to cry. He should since he needed to breathe.

He didn't.

Not because of a suicidal tendency (though he had them too, or so he was told) but the mucus had clogged up his nose and mouth. He thought about his life ticking to death if nobody assisted in cleaning his airways.

Sometimes he wondered if he had ever died immediately after his rebirth. Not that he remembered. Counting his past lives became a moot point since ages ago.

(When he was still young and hopeful and wondering if _this_ would ever stop.)

The doctor was quick to smack his naked butt when a moment passed without him making a sound after cleaning up the mucus. The baby him which had no control over the body whatsoever cry at the unexpected pain.

Again, he was, unfortunately, used to this.

He let the doctor washed him up, feeling the sticky goo and blood being wiped away before he was wrapped into a soft fabric. They settled him into a crook of someone's arm.

His current body's mother.

Even if he opened his eyes, he couldn't see. His ears could barely hear. Newborn was blind and deaf to the world. The first few times it happened was horrifying. He was exposed and he was vulnerable. A slight mistake and he could have died.

(He didn't mind dying though — if only he would stay dead.)

He felt himself being jostled a bit, there was a gentle prodding on his cheek. The woman that gave birth to him had just poked him. He snuggled closer, despite struggling with his own limited mobility, and heard a soft garbled noise that sounded like a laughter.

A dull pain throbbed in his heart when chapped lips kissed his temple. He went still as water droplet— _tears_ —fell to his face, warm and cold at the same time. The embrace around him went tighter before loosening. Weakening.

 _'_ _Oh_ , _'_ he thought as loud blaring sound resounded in the background, _'she has one of those fate.'_

He was lifted off again, taken away from the comfortable warmth that he knew he would no longer get. Even if he couldn't see, he knew what was happening.

The woman that gave birth to him was dying.

As he was placed into the cot, he thought of the fate of those who became his host's mothers. They either died or abandoned him after birth. The later occurred more than the former. It had been crippling the first few times, a crack in his self-esteem when the women didn't want him.

It had been a while since he got a woman that did _want_ him.

Her kiss on the temple would be the last time he would be able to feel her.

Past him would've cried at the realization. Not him though. Now he was just numb. The guilt and sadness and longing washed over as quickly as they came.

Even if the woman had survived, he would still outlive her. Then she would just be one of those faces that were supposed to be important but one that he couldn't remember.

(Like her— _bushy-haired and clever_ —and her— _blonde and dreamy_ —and him— _black haired and serious_ —and her— _kind and warm_ —and everybody else.)

Death didn't let him get too attached — and he let it be.

(What would the alternative be otherwise?)

 **~X~**

Apparently, his current body was a female.

It worked like that sometimes. Him being a girl. The only consistency of her rebirth was that she would have black hair and green eyes. And that scar on the forehead.

The lightning scar: the proof that she had been someone else before Haruka (and before that before and before that _before_ ).

Haruka was his— _her_ —new name.

Just Haruka.

(Just Harry.)

She had no surname this time. Nothing to ground her existence to this world since she was just a passer-by, never staying. Like her name. Far away. Distance.

(How fitting.)

 **~X~**

The first few years of her life she handled it on autopilot mode, dissociation, or whatever terms that they used in this world. She perfected it ages before, perhaps even when she was Just Harry.

(Just Harry was an innocent, naïve, hopeful thing that wasn't tainted by Death.)

Awareness came later during the childhood — when she was a toddler, when mobility was no longer a concern.

If the caretakers were suspicious of the changes in her behaviour, their opinions were well concealed since they still treated her roughly the same as others; with kindness and patience. Most kids in the orphanage didn't mind her presence except complaining that she was a little too quiet.

Haruka could work with quiet.

(It was better to be called shy rather than a monster after all.)

The world she currently resided in was a bit peculiar though.

Initially, she had assumed that this world was a bit more advanced than the previous one since she saw races—blue skin could only be considered as alien after all—that shouldn't be classified as humans. But she never saw a spacecraft flying overhead. Her assumption was shot down when she asked one of the caretakers.

Earth, he said.

That was the same for most worlds that Haruka had been reincarnated into.

But all Earths that she had reincarnated into only had humans in it.

Then she thought of mutation and the curiosity died down. At least mutation here didn't get bad reception among humans.

(That young, charismatic man would've been pleased with this world.)

Death had always let her kept something extra in her reincarnation; some useful, some painfully annoying and some became an indirect cause of her death.

(Humans had always been afraid of something that they didn't understand.)

Perhaps they wouldn't try to kill her for being able to do something freaky later.

She didn't want to be drowned to death again.

 **~X~**

Children could be observant sometimes.

Haruka had kept a low profile through her stay in the orphanage. She stayed inside, helping the caretakers with simple chores when the children were busy playing outside. She read books in the shared bedroom when they watched TV in the living room. Nobody had noticed that she didn't step outside of the orphanage for years until a _child_ pointed it out.

Then, it was chaos. Gone was her leisure days.

Apologies were given to her by the caretakers, their faces riddled with guilt. It was a strange occurrence to see such honesty on adults' expressions. Haruka was more familiar with hostility thrown on her way.

This world was truly strange.

Somehow, the apology escalated into an excursion to the zoo with Haruka being the main guest.

The younger children were excited about the trip and the slightly older ones gave a lukewarm response. Though all of them were happy for her. Children similar to her age were telling her about how there was going to be a surprise at the end of the trip.

Haruka wasn't bothered to ask for clarification.

(Just Harry once visited a zoo, hadn't he?)

On the day of the trip, the children woke up earlier than usual. The caretakers divided them into small groups and Haruka was left under the care of the Glasses Caretaker. Haruka wasn't exactly in a friendly term with the children but today all of them treated her as one of their own.

Their familiarity was uncomfortable. It brought something out of her. Something that was long forgotten. Whether it was a good or bad thing, Haruka didn't know the answer because the feeling had vanished as quickly as it came.

The children were enjoying their little trip. An awed sound here and there like most children did when discovering something new.

It was all the same to Haruka. Here or anywhere else. There was nothing new to see, nothing more to learn. The picture remained constant wherever she went. The sun was still the sun. An animal was still an animal.

The animals here weren't all that different.

There were elephants, lions, giraffes — _normal_ looking animals that didn't make her look twice.

Haruka wasn't quite sure what to feel about that.

While the children gushed about the cute rabbits and cool tigers, Haruka found herself staring at a horse. It was eating. It was brown.

It didn't have wings.

Normal ones didn't.

Haruka wasn't quite sure but she remembered enough that there was a species of horse that was touched by Death, all skeletal and ethereal. It had wings. This world didn't have a horse with wings.

(Just Harry saw that kind of horses. He knew its name. Not Haruka. Never Haruka. Never the others.)

Sometimes, Haruka chased the ghost of her memories. Some stuck while some left her as if she was grasping at air. The ones that remained she kept close.

Like the horses with the wings.

Glasses Caretaker was chasing after one of the children when there was an earthquake. The ground shook so bad that the road cracked. People were screaming. The animals got loose.

It was chaos.

What the children said about a surprise sprang to her mind then. It was after she looked at the paled faces of the caretakers and the crying children that she realised that this wasn't the surprise.

Something, a person, emerged from the crack. His smile got crooked as he yelled and laughed, destroying paths and seemingly revelled at the sudden increase of screaming.

 _'_ _Mutants uprising?'_

"Haruka-chan…!" Glasses Caretaker yelled out, his hand trying to reach hers as he kept the other children close to him. Haruka realized that she got separated quite far from the group. "Come here quick! It's dangerous!"

Haruka walked, one foot after another, only to feel the ground beneath her gave out. She stumbled forward. Pain blossomed on her knees kick-started her automatic response. Dissociating from the pain, Haruka barely heard the screaming of the Glasses Caretaker calling for her name.

His face was a mixture of surprise and panic, one that was full of anguish. Haruka thought that she had seen that kind of expression before. But it was on a woman.

She remembered laughter and green light.

The same colour of green was heading her way. Not of light, but of liquid — and all she could think was dying. And Death.

When the liquid was mere seconds from landing on her face, she remembered chapped lips gently kissing her temple and she froze. Icy cold dread chilled her bones to the core at being reminded that _it_ could happen again.

Her heart squeezed viciously, unforgiving.

Haruka had braced herself for the incoming pain, for her soul getting ripped out of her body and shoved into a new one. But she never felt any of it. Instead of pain, something firm and warm enveloped her from behind and took her away from the danger. The rush movement made her mind blanked. Sounds of rustling wind rushed into her ears, whistling loudly and piercing.

"Fear not!" A loud booming voice resounded overhead, "Why, you ask? Because I am here!"

Haruka blinked.

"…eh?"

When black hair fluttered to her face, Haruka realized that she was high above. From this vantage point, she could see the Glasses Caretaker. His distress was replaced by astonishment and relief. Something fluttered inside her then, flickering like the candle of the flame.

Haruka didn't know why her heart ached.

"Jou-chan, I need you to do something for me," she heard her saviour said in a surprisingly soft voice. It was quite a contrast to the loud, booming one. Haruka nodded, wondering if the good mutant even noticed her movement. "I need you to close your eyes and cover your ears. Can you do that?"

Haruka nodded again before doing what he asked. She heard the good mutant thanked her before feeling her stomach plummeted.

The sensation was familiar. Like when she was being catapulted into the air, a broom in her hand.

Due to their close proximity, Haruka could feel how the mutant's muscle tense. For a moment, Haruka braced for an impact, for anything. Then, there was a sudden great pressure, a backlash of something that whipped her hair into the air.

There was a silence, then a muffled cheer.

Callous, big fingers gently pulled her hand away from the ears. The cheering got even louder.

"You can open your eyes now."

Haruka was greeted by the sight of a man grinning at her. His eyes were impossibly blue and vibrant with _life_ that she was taken aback at the sheer force of it.

For one ridiculous moment, Haruka thought about how Death had to fight to retrieve this man's life.

(He wouldn't win, Death always prevail in the end.)

"All Might! That was _so_ cool!"

"The number one hero is seriously too awesome! Only one punch!"

"Kyaa! All Might!"

"All Might!"

The good mutant turned to address the crowds.

"Now, now, citizens. Please, calm down. I believe this Jou-chan here needs a medical treatment."

Haruka expected a voice of complaint or even a protest, but the crowds had surprisingly quietened down. Most of them were jittery on their feet but they didn't do anything untoward. Perhaps it was due to the presence of polices, but their sheer numbers could easily overtake the officers.

If anything, the crowds almost seemed familiar with this.

 _'_ _Was a fight between mutants a regular occurrence?'_

When the good mutant got closer to the waiting ambulance, Haruka tapped his shoulders.

"I'm not hurt."

"Really?" The man said, his voice returned to being soft just like when they were high above. "You hurt your knees though."

Haruka blinked then stared at the white sundress that was smeared with blood.

She had forgotten about her knees. Looking at the bleeding injury, she realized that it was worse than the usual scrap. Normal children would've cried in pain.

Haruka wasn't a normal child though.

She always had a high tolerance for pain.

(She had to if she wanted to survive.)

"Maybe it's the adrenaline."

That startled a laugh from the man though his blue eyes still showed concern. Haruka wondered if the good mutant was worried about the destroyed road. It was the bad mutant fault though.

"You're a smart Jou-chan, aren't you?"

Haruka blinked.

A male EMT disinfected her wound, carefully wrapping them with clean bandages. For some reason the EMT's hand was shaky, eyes unfocused, as he stared at the good mutant who was still keeping her company.

"Haruka-chan…!"

It was that Glasses Caretaker. Haruka saw him trying to squeeze through the excited crowds, body sandwiched between strangers.

That looked uncomfortable.

"Haruka-chan!" Glasses Caretaker finally caught up to them, his breath ragged and his glasses askew. " _Thank God_ , Haruka-chan."

Haruka stiffened when the Glasses Caretaker hugged her fiercely, hands limped on her sides. She could feel his rapid heartbeats, his warmth, and that made her stomach clenched.

She recalled being hugged by a bushy-haired girl, as vicious and desperate as this.

The good mutant was smiling at them, expression soft and relieved.

Glasses Caretaker sniffled, letting out a watery chuckle, and turned to Haruka's saviour. His expression reverent and grateful.

"Thank you, All Might," he said honestly, "Thank you for saving her."

"I'm just doing my job," the man laughed loudly. Haruka noticed the blue eyes flickered to her and her knees. There was a hint of guilt in those eyes before they vanished from sight. "I'm sorry that I could not get to your daughter faster."

Glasses Caretaker spluttered, "Ah, I-I'm not her father." The good mutant seemed curious at that answer. "I'm her caretaker. Haruka-chan here is an orphan."

If possible, her saviour looked sadder than before.

She recalled a similar expression on another man. A brunette with a facial hair. He was trying to save her. Haruka couldn't see the tears in his brown eyes, but she remembered how his fingers trembled as he told her to hold on.

(He couldn't save her. Her body was impaled by steels near all of the vital organs.)

Haruka couldn't remember the man's face, what she did remember was his anguished scream as she died.

The man could've left, but he stayed for her.

Similar to that man, the man before her had expressive eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry," Haruka said softly.

(You don't have to be sorry, _.)

"You don't have to be sorry," Haruka repeated as she stared at those mesmerizing blue eyes, trying to convey as much as honesty as she could. "You save me —"

(You don't have to be sorry. You stayed. You stayed with me until _that_ end.)

"—and that's enough."

Haruka disliked it when people felt guilty over her. It wasn't worth it. She would be gone soon anyway.

The man and the Glasses Caretaker stared at her in surprise. Something flickered underneath the blue eyes.

"You're _really_ smart," the man chuckled softly. His blue eyes softened.

"You already said that."

The good mutant laughed again, his boisterousness returned with vigour.

"A-ah," Glasses Caretaker stammered, "Please excuse her, All Might. Haruka-chan is just a child."

"Excuse? Whatever for? She merely spoke the truth," he grinned and kneeled to her eye level. Haruka wondered if he did that to make himself less intimidating. "If I may ask, Jou-chan, did you enjoy seeing the animals before the villain attacked?" Haruka nodded slowly. "What's your favourite animal?"

"Wolf."

Haruka remembered a kind wolf that had scars on his face and gave her chocolates when she was Just Harry. The wolf always had a sad face. Death took her before she could fix him though.

"That," the man blinked, "…this zoo doesn't have any wolf isn't it?" Haruka shook her head. "That's too bad."

"It's okay," Haruka replied, thinking back to the brown horse that didn't have wings. "I saw horses."

Both men chuckled at her response.

"Actually," Glasses Caretaker spoke, "today's her birthday. We were supposed to have a surprise birthday party later," he trailed off unsurely, smiling as he patted her head. "Though, I think being able to see the number one hero is a pretty good surprise too."

Haruka didn't realize that it was her birthday.

The date of her birth was meaningless to her. There was nothing to be celebrated for nor anything to be grateful for.

It was just another reminder that she was brought back to life.

"A birthday? How exciting! How old are you, Jou-chan?"

"Four."

The man grinned, and Haruka was confused how the man could do that so earnestly each time. "Are you excited to get your quirk?"

Haruka blinked at the expectant look of the man.

"…eh?"

 **~X~**

Sometimes, Haruka chased the ghost of her memories. Some she kept close to her heart. And some, when it came latching on her, she pried open its claws and let it sunk to the bottom of the sea.

Some things are better left forgotten.

* * *

 **Haruka means "remote" or "distant". Jou-chan means "young lady".**

 **This story is going to be** **slow** **burn. The timeline is before the starting of the manga. Haruka/Harry is older than Izuku.**

 **This is going to be a Mirio/Haruka (Harry) fic, because I love Harry and I love Mirio. They need more love in my opinion. Mirio is a good boy.**

 **And though this is an on-going story, I'm planning to make DekuMight as a side pairing, but that will not appear in a long whil** **e — at least not until Izuku is older. If you wanna fight me about the age gap, I'm going to point out that there is Harry/Snape and Harry/Voldemort pairing. XD**


	2. Chapter 2: Accident

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from Harry Potter and Boku no Hero Academia.

* * *

 **General Warnings:** AU, language, gender bending, slow burn, unhealthy coping method

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Verse ga kita! *Blushing and coughing* (How does AM do this without feeling embarrassed?)

Hello, dear readers! I made the cover for Tethered Soul! It featured adult!Mirio and adult!Haruka though. You like?

I'm really glad that y'all love this story of mine. Honestly, I'm really flattered. You made me so happy. If any of you read Gaining Innocence, then you know that I will respond to each review. Yes. All of em. So, if you don't want to read them, just scroll until you see Chapter 2. Lol.

English is not my native language, just saying. So don't burn me if you see mistakes. If you can point it out, I will be so grateful. Hope you like this!

* * *

 **To Matsoine:** Thanks! You made me blushed, dear. Thank you, again, for pointing out the mistake by the way. Me no understand English. Me thinks English is hard. XD

 **To suntan140:** Thank you for the review. Hey, I know you! You read GI too! *Cackles* Hope you love this, suntan140. If it gets too angsty just turn to Herkus. Have a nice day!

 **To Mikazuki Hime:** Thanks, Hime! There will be no bashing from you for DekuMight - noted. Glad you had taken a liking to this fic. Hope you have a nice day!

 **To Eternal Scribe:** Thank you! To find another Mirio fan...! I'm so happy! Mirio is such a good boi, isn't he? Fudge, how I long to write him with Haruka already. But plot building is a must. And very fun to write. I hope you love this chapter, Eternal Scribe. Have a nice day!

 **To Guest 1:** Thank you for the review. No, Haruka is not Nana reincarnation. That much I can tell. Have a good day.

 **To bisexuwhale:** Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it! And your name made me laughed - I love the pun! Have a good day!

 **To Heat Haze Days:** Thank you, reader! I'm glad you loved the reference. I'll be doing that a lot though, so feel free to guess. Haruka mindset isn't a pretty one. I love what you said about "But even if people are fated to eventually die, that's not what makes their life grand. It's their actions, achievements, interests that make it bright and worthwhile." Very true, I agree - let's hope that Haruka sees it that way. Sometimes, she forgot the simplest thing. And thank you for not throwing rocks at my house about the DekuMight pairing. Have a great day! :D

 **To 917brat, Derwyd, god of all, Guest 2, Lady Syndra:** Thank you for the reviews! Hope that you love this chapter too - please let me know what you guys think about this, yeah?

* * *

 **Chapter 2:** Accident

* * *

 _The only thing that is constant is change;_ a saying that Haruka had come to appreciate since she had been reborn again and again and _again_. Not all common sense from previous worlds could be used, and Haruka had realized that _long_ ago.

(She had once been reborn into a world where people could be engaged to each other if someone picked up a fallen cutlery. That hadn't been a common practice in Just Harry's world.)

That little fact sometimes escaped her mind. But it had never been an issue before. At least not at this age.

(What a four-year-old knew about the world?)

In here, it was widely known that a power— _quirk_ —would manifest sometime during childhood. Around four years old or so it was stated in a book that Haruka had just recently read. Her initial assumption about mutation was almost correct except it wasn't. It wasn't the same at all. The mutation that she knew, kept in the library of her own patched knowledge, was vastly different in this world.

 _The more you learn the less you know._

In the back of her mind, someplace dark and hidden, Bushy Hair berated her about not preparing enough. Beside her sat Messy Eater, nodding in agreement, as he kept shovelling food into his mouth, saying 'she's right, mate' over and over again.

(Bushy Hair and Messy Eater came in pairs. They always had, like a pair of twin girl and boy.)

Lack of preparation could lead to trouble, Lone Eye Man had said, and even death.

If Haruka wasn't minding too much about the possibility of having born out of a woman with one of those… _fate_ again (the feelings— _the ghost of her lips on the temple_ —were too fresh for her to ignore), she would've entertained the idea of leaving this place earlier.

(Here or the next world…there wasn't any difference. Haruka would still be brought back to life again. Even if her name would no longer be Haruka.)

Death would probably bring her back though like it sometimes did.

And _that_ wasn't something that Haruka particularly keen to experience.

Being dragged back to life after died of a fatal wound wasn't fun. There were no words to describe how it felt. The agony.

The _madness_.

She had almost preferred being reborn instead of _that_. _Almost_. Because in the end, what Haruka wanted was rest and peace. And death.

But death would never come.

 _Death_ would never agree.

Fortunately, _that_ had only happened a couple of times and very far in between. The aftermaths weren't pretty most of the time. Being miraculously brought back to life tended to be alarming. More so when the heart was totally skewered in front of an eyewitness. _That_ changed _everything_.

It wasn't miraculous at all.

A freak of nature.

(Just Harry had been a freak too.)

 **~X~**

When Haruka decided to educate herself about the common knowledge of this new world, it had been around the same time she had to attend kindergarten. Never Haruka had thought she would learn something new in a _kindergarten_.

There was a first for everything. And that fact was worrisome.

(It reminded her of the three objects. An omen. A prelude to something bad.)

Studying didn't come with no merits though. Most of the times, knowing things could save her from facing certain grieves. Haruka didn't think that she was a law-abiding person, or taking Brunette's words, a 'girl scout'. She learned just enough to get by.

Haruka wouldn't get caught as fast if she blended in.

(Like that one time they tied her on a cross just because she concocted a medicine for a sick child. The child survived. She didn't. When Death had placed her soul on another body, she swore she still could feel the flame licking her skin. Haruka was convinced that her host's mother at that time left her because she wouldn't stop screaming.)

Haruka usually wasn't bothered to learn at such a young age, society rarely demanded anything from children after all, because she was just a passer-by, a guest, who would go to the next place soon enough. But sometimes, needs must.

Though this 'needs must' in this world was particularly… _intense_ , for the lack of word, when Haruka found herself in a state of curious bafflement after reading more and more books with a dose of television in between.

Death had actually sent her to a strange world.

A world where everyone had powers. Most of them. Eighty per cent was a big number after all. That would leave about twenty per cent as quirkless.

How the world had changed.

The norm became the unusual and the unusual became the norm.

She wondered if Death was trying to make a point or something.

That sounded foreboding.

 **~X~**

It came to her attention that zoning out for the first four years of her new life wasn't a good idea. Usually, that wasn't a problem. She recalled dissociating longer than that, without affecting her life in the slightest.

But that was before. And Haruka _wasn't_ in before.

Deep in her mind, there was an acknowledgement that being too unsociable was detrimental to one's health. It was a recurrent topic that she pushed back, making an appearance only when it cooked something nasty. Not that her current situation was anywhere near nasty at all. The caretakers and teachers had always thought of her as a child who was 'sweet' but 'a little shy' around her, supposedly, peers.

Haruka wasn't bothered to correct them. If they took her avoidance to children as shy, so be it.

Children were brutally honest, and they could be painfully cruel. Haruka had known this when a curious little boy had pushed her off the ledge just to see if her legs would be broken.

(He had been staring at her innocently, eyes meeting hers, as he observed her fall. He was _three_.)

Haruka didn't want to taint her opinion about children just because of that memory. Just Harry had always liked kids. He didn't have any of his own but he got a Cub. Cub had made Wolf pretty happy. When Cub went missing, Wolf was sad all the time.

Death took Haruka away then.

(She wondered, sometimes, if Wolf would cry for her as he did for Cub even if Haruka couldn't remember his face anymore.)

 **~X~**

Haruka had been the centre of attention in the orphanage after the villain attack. Subjected under the stares of curiosity, jealousy and resentment had almost made Haruka sighed in relief. It was familiar. And somehow, despite the negativity of it all, it felt comforting.

At least this world hadn't lost all common sense that Haruka previously had.

(Haruka disliked having to change her views. Wary. Because each one she replaced, it felt like a piece of her being chipped away, leaving behind a mismatched vessel, never fit in anywhere else.)

Before the childish hostility could turn into something particularly nasty, Haruka was once again saved by Bunny Man. This time it was in a form of an unassuming box. A big box.

A box filled with treasures, or so it was claimed by most of the inhabitants in the orphanage.

Said treasures were actually clothes. Small, little hoodies that represented Haruka's saviour from his costume to his bunny bangs. The caretakers got similar items with a slightly different design and obviously, a whole lot larger in size.

Haruka fell in love with it because it was soft and warm.

(She didn't like the cold because it reminded her of that one time when she drowned.)

Haruka didn't know how Bunny Man got the address, but seeing that the caretakers didn't seem at all worried she didn't think that it was that suspicious. Though she wondered if it was normal to treat free merchandise like a treasured heirloom in this world.

While the children were happily perusing through their new things, Glasses Caretaker had pulled her away, far enough from prying eyes.

It turned out that Bunny Man got her something extra.

A wolf plush and a well-wished birthday card which might as well had been an autograph card with how big the signature had filled in the space.

Glasses Caretaker had offered to keep the autograph for her since other children might steal it in a fit of jealousy. Haruka didn't mind that, but she was a bit intrigued with the wolf plush. She hadn't had a toy of her own in a long time.

(Even when Just Harry was at her age he hadn't had his own toy, only broken ones — ones that were left forgotten.)

Bunny Man was…different than she expected.

She didn't know whether if that was a good thing.

 **~X~**

"Haruka-chan." Glasses Caretaker suddenly appeared in her vision, disturbing her full view of the sky. Confusion was intense on his face as he peered down at her. "What are you doing?"

"Sunbathing."

That startled a laugh from him, the basket in his arm jostled at the movement.

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Nee-san said that I'm too pale."

"I think she meant for you to go out and play with everyone."

Glasses Caretaker glanced over his shoulder to where they could hear the children moving around in the yard. Haruka followed his gaze. The screams of excitement were somewhat muffled seeing that they were both surrounded by the bushes. It made a pretty good hiding place for sure. Not that Haruka was hiding.

Haruka was thinking. She was thinking of the black silhouette that hovered behind people. Of their slow muttering and deafening silences.

She wasn't supposed to get The Sight until she was seven.

"Do I have to, Nii-san?"

The man blinked before smiling, the shadow that was latching on him shifted silently as he moved. It was one of the quiet ones.

"No, you don't have to. But no more lying on the ground. It's dirty."

Haruka sat up, letting the man brushed away the dirt on her dress. She looked at the basket near her feet.

"Can I help?"

"Sure. Thank you, Haruka-chan."

She nodded and followed Glasses Caretaker to the clothesline poles. Haruka might not reach poles, but she could certainly lessen the crease.

"You're very good at this."

She shrugged and handed the shirt to Glasses Caretaker. Her hand already reached the next one, whiplashing it so fast the wrinkles smoothened out.

"Haruka-chan?"

She hummed, showing that she was listening.

(Bushy Hair had never given her enough time to articulate her thoughts. It was one of the things that Haruka recalled about her. Just Harry was never bothered though because it was nice that she had, at least, _listened_.)

"Did you," Glasses Caretaker trailed off, uncertainty made him stammered. He took a deep breathe then looked at her. "Did you get bullied by others?"

"No," Haruka said simply. She wasn't, surprisingly, being bullied. There was that animosity back then after the villain attack, but the children weren't mean to her. "Why do you ask, Nii-san?"

"You are never interested in playing with the others," he said. "I thought…"

"You thought that they isolate me." Glasses Caretaker got that the other way around. "I'm not being bullied, Nii-san."

Glasses Caretaker smiled like a great burden just had been relieved from his shoulders. "That's good."

Haruka stared at Glasses Caretaker, hesitated. She was considering this because it was him.

"Do I really _have_ to play with them?"

"No," Glasses Caretaker quickly replied. "Not if _you_ don't want to, Haruka-chan. I'm just…I'm just being silly, I guess."

Haruka studied that picture of honest concern and felt something inside her wavered. Just like back then. When she was high above with Bunny Man.

"You're a good person, Nii-san."

Glasses Caretaker stared at her unblinkingly before laughing. His eyes turned soft as he ruffled her hair.

"And you're too mature for a kid," he sighed fondly. He messed up his own hair, glasses askew, while softly muttering, "To be comforted by a child — I still got a long way to go."

Haruka didn't think that she was meant to hear the last part.

Behind him, the silhouette wavered. It seemed to lean closer to Glasses Caretaker, shadows pooling on top of his head and shaking ever so slightly.

It was patting Glasses Caretaker's head, Haruka realised.

"So," Glasses started after a moment of silence. His movement dispersed the black mist overhead. "Did anything interesting happened at the kindergarten today?"

Haruka blinked and thought for a moment.

"Sensei wants me to take a placement test."

"What?" Glasses Caretaker squeaked. "When?"

Haruka shrugged, glancing at the man. "Nii-san not going to ask why?"

"…I'm not surprised that they want to advance you up." Glasses Caretaker patted her head, just like it had done to him. Haruka wondered if Glasses Caretaker could feel it. "I already know that you're smart, Haruka-chan. Even All Might had called you 'smart Jou-chan'." He grinned a little. "I'm just surprised." Glasses Caretaker frowned. "Usually they will tell the guardians first."

"They will," Haruka nodded. "I heard them."

"Eavesdropping is bad, Haruka-chan."

"Sensei should have closed the door then."

He let out an amused huff and squatted before her, both palms rested on his cheeks. "Do you want to take the placement test?"

Haruka tilted her head, blinking. "I can say no?"

Haruka didn't want to be a child prodigy. To be under the scrutiny of others, pressuring her from all sides…it got tiring.

(Just Harry had never liked being on the spotlight.)

"Yes, you can say no, Haruka-chan," Glasses Caretaker said kindly. "You can always say no if you don't want to do something you don't like."

"…okay."

(Why did Death never let her rest then?)

"Okay," Haruka nodded slowly, staring at the wavering mist on his shoulders. It seemed like it was watching her. "If you say so Nii-san."

 **~X~**

Haruka didn't take the placement test much to Sensei's disappointment, but the kindergarten teacher had never pushed her for answers. She did realise that her worksheet wasn't that one of a kindergarten afterwards though. Haruka purposely made it like she had difficulty with it.

(Just Harry had been clever too, but he wasn't allowed to be smart.)

"Ah!" a high pitched scream echoed in Haruka's left ear. Her paper was snatched by a small hand, waving it around like a flag. "Sensei, she did it again! That, that weird drawing!"

Sensei quickly come, his eyes were stern as he stared down at the boy. "What did I say about yelling?"

"Not to," the boy mumbled before shoving the paper to the adult. "But, but — _look!_ "

Sensei looked at it. Something unreadable crossed his face. Haruka noticed how his eyes wandered to hers.

"Haruka-chan," Sensei spoke after dismissing the boy. They were alone at the corner, his body acted as a barrier between her and the other children. "Can you tell me why did you draw this?"

Haruka didn't recall what she was drawing, distracted by the floating darkness, but at seeing the paper she realised why Sensei seemed so perturbed.

A human was supposed to have a face after all.

Haruka wasn't sure, but there was that one time when Bushy Hair had become a cat. Or a half of her. She didn't recall her exact face, but Haruka thought she had cat ears on top of her head.

"I don't remember her face."

"Who?"

Haruka blinked, staring at Sensei. His left face was covered with black mist.

"Someone that I'd seen before."

(Someone that used to know Just Harry. Bushy Hair didn't know Haruka.)

Sensei hummed, settling to sit across her with folded legs.

"Why don't we draw her together?"

Haruka stared at the faceless Bushy Hair then to Sensei, considering.

"Okay."

Sensei had purposely drawn it in a cartoonish way. Haruka didn't think that Bushy Hair was supposed to have big purple eyes, but she didn't say anything. She just added a mole underneath her right eye.

Haruka didn't want to remember Bushy Hair correctly. It was enough that Haruka knew she was intelligent and impatient.

Faces weren't needed. Haruka only needed to remember a thing or two about them.

(Because remember meant important and important meant getting attached and she didn't want that.)

 **~X~**

The children in the orphanage were varied in ages. The youngest was three years old and the oldest twelve. Some of them had already obtained their quirks. When Haruka saw a boy used his hair to grip his mug, she wondered how she could've missed this previously.

(_ had always said that she was oblivious in the first place.)

There were three four years old in this orphanage. All of them hadn't manifested their quirks, including Haruka. There was a chance that she could be quirkless but she didn't think that Death would allow that.

(She didn't think that Death would ever allow her to be normal.)

The two four year olds were jittery in anticipation, waiting anxiously, for their quirks to emerge. Both of them boasted about having cool powers and becoming heroes.

Heroes were valid occupations in this world, a fact that left Haruka in depth sometimes because she understood it as a thankless job — _if_ it could even be called as a job. Here, though, not only the heroes were hailed as saviours, but they also had their own agencies, a proper place for them to conduct their daily saving lives.

This world was much too strange for her taste. It made her wondered her purposes being reborn here.

If there was someone invincible in this world, why would they need help?

 _'Because they're human, and you're not,'_ her mind had whispered.

Sometimes it was taunting, some reproachful, but the one that got Haruka the most was a slithery and deep voice, almost pleasant, echoed in the well of her mind. She never knew who the voice had belonged to, but it had been frescoed on the wall of her brain, like a forgotten piece of a painting.

(Haruka rarely heard that voice and she was grateful for that.)

Both children sometimes came over to her, gushing about the quirks but left with disappointment when Haruka only gave a lukewarm response. In a heat of the moment, when they had forgotten her reply, the two of them would come bounding again — and the process repeated itself.

Things like these shouldn't be rushed, Haruka thought, lest they would be unleashed in a form of uncontrollable power.

(Haruka remembered a black corporeal form of _things_ that screamed in madness as it destructed anything in its pathway.)

 **~X~**

It was several days after the latest pestering from the two four year olds that one of them had gotten his quirk. And it came at such an unexpected time too.

Haruka hadn't been paying attention at the time, listlessly trailed behind a gaggle of children chattering about their days as she was once again distracted by the shadows which could be seen clearer than before.

Haruka thought that she could see its hands now, despite it not having a corporeal form.

One moment they were talking and then there was an abrupt silence before a short yell of surprise resounded in the air. Haruka was staring at the shadow in front of her, trying to make sense of what it was mumbling about when the black mist dispersed and the youngest child fell on top of Haruka.

They were at the stairs at the time.

Haruka heard a crack when she fell, her grip around the child loosened as she felt her spine snapped into two at the added weight.

There was screaming.

Halfway dissociating, Haruka suddenly recalled that Death could bring her back. It would. Haruka hadn't done anything yet.

Then Haruka saw Death in her peripheral vision and something inside her screamed in relief because she realised that she would _die_.

(Even if it was a brief respite.)

Death wouldn't do that _thing_ to her.

(Whenever she had been revived, Death would have been staring down at her, skeletal hands deep inside her heart, fingers scraping her soul — trying to force it to stay inside.)

Dimly, she could hear the scream increased in intensity and Haruka wondered if it was time. She wondered if the children were screaming because blood had been pouring out of her mouth like the movie had shown when people were dying.

But then it just stood _there_.

Death _wasn't_ moving.

It stood, it hovered — but it didn't come to her like it always did when it took her soul away.

Instead, it was… _smiling_.

That sight chilled Haruka to the core far, far worse than the frozen lake where she had drowned. Dread filled her lungs, throat burning for air — for any kind of relief when Haruka _felt_ it.

Time stilled before Haruka as her bones clicked in place, torn muscles slowly knitting inside her, wounding and straining the tissues as they hooked to each other, pulling and pushing and _painful_.

When her mouth already opened, lungs filled with oxygen and waiting to scream out, to make the torture known, it stopped.

It stopped.

 _It_ stopped.

"–chan…! Haruka-chan!"

She opened her eyes to see a panicked face.

It was Glasses Caretaker.

It was always _him_.

"Haruka-chan, can you hear me?"

"Nii-san." The tongue felt heavy in her mouth. She thought she was slurring.

"Haruka-chan?" His face was pale. Ashen. "D-don't talk, okay? Help is coming."

"…go."

There was a deep ache inside her. It stung when it was supposed to be hollow.

"It…me go."

"Haruka-chan…?"

"Won't let go," she mumbled out, feeling her eyes drooping. "…ired."

" _Haruka!_ "

She didn't think Death could do anything that would make her despised it even more. She was mistaken.

There was a _first_ for everything.

* * *

 **You like?**

 **By the way, Sensei that Haruka referred to is not _that_ _Sensei._ XD**

 **Thank you to all of you that reviews, follows, favourites and read this fic.** **Please tell me what you think. Reviews made me happy. It _fuels_ me.**

 **P.S. I watched a video of BnHA xover with Brooklyn 99 the other day. I cackled so hard I hurt my stomach. It was too darn funny. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, search about My Hero 99 at youtube. There are villains singing. I mean, Dabi and Stain. And even _Shigaraki_. I can't. It's too funny. And "I want it that way" to boot. Pft.**


	3. Chapter 3: Quirk

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything from Harry Potter and Boku no Hero Academia.

* * *

 **General Warnings:** AU, language, gender-bending, slow burn, unhealthy coping method, self-harming (beware)

* * *

 **Author's Note:** IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

I think I need to clarify or remind you guys of certain things here.

1) DekuMight is not the main focus in this fic, I mean the only pairing tag that I put is Mirio/Harry. (I'll probably separate DekuMight pairing from this story though. We'll see how this one goes first.)

2) Even if I do write DekuMight, that pairing will not happen until Izuku is a legal adult! I mean, don't you dare say All Might is a paedophile - because he's not! Though I understand if you get uncomfortable with it. To each their own. But again, as I said, DekuMight is not the main thing here - this story is about friendship, hurt/comfort, drama and healing.

3) Harry/Haruka is an unreliable narrator here. Please don't trust whatever she says or thinks at face value. She is as clueless as you guys. Really.

With that being said (written), I hope you will enjoy this chapter! Cheers! I'll be busy after this, it's near my Final after all - so don't expect updates anytime soon! Though, if procrastination come-a-calling, well...y'know. XD

* * *

 **To Matsoine:** Thanks! Death and Harry does have a complex relationship in this fic. The only clue I will give you is that Harry/Haruka doesn't know everything. Like I said, she's as clueless as you dear readers. Have a nice day!

 **To 917brat:** Thank you for the review. I hope this chapter will clear up some of your confusion? Or will it only add more to your confusion? Well, I must say that you're wrong about Haruka seeing Death Timer on everyone (though that seems like a good idea for another fic, hmm). What happened last time is that Haruka broke her spine, but her quirk came right after. Have a nice day!

 **To Heat Haze Days:** Thank you! *Clapping hands loudly* You're spot on! Wow! Amazing! It _is_ a reference to Kyou Kara Maoh except I tweaked it a bit because Harry/Haruka's memory is not trustable. But to think that you can guess it right...damn! You're good! Yep, people can be ungrateful, right. Poor Haruka. Yep, All Might is smart! *Giggles* Hope you enjoy this. Have a great day!

 **To niyuu:** Thank you for the review! Man, I really just want to explain about Haruka's quirk, but she's so unreliable. In this fic, Harry/Haruka don't know better too, not much more than you guys, really. Of course, there are professional Quirk assessors in this world, but anything about Haruka's quirk will not be revealed during Haruka's POV because she's...just not bothered to learn, I guess? She had a lot on her plate, so please forgive her. I seriously love your idea/AU that you have written on the review though. Seriously. I can't divulge much info, but I can say this - OfA is _Izuku's_. Other than that...about Haruka being adopted, who knows? Though she will meet a handful of pro heroes. Have a good day!

 **To AcausalTrilby:** Thank you for the review. I don't know if you will be reading this - and I doubt you will. I did say something about DekuMight, but that pairing will _not_ happen when Izuku is _13_. Izuku will already be a legal adult when he's in a relationship. I do understand what you mean though - but please, I am not, and never will be, writing All Might as a paedophile.

 **To TheMingle250:** Thanks! Yep, Harry/Haruka is referring to Death at the last part. Have a great day!

 **To gemava:** Thank you! Hahaha! Haruka will call All Might _that_ later (I can't wait to write about their second meeting *squeal*). No worries! No DekuMight when Izuku is underaged because that just scares me, to be honest. Though I'm thinking to separate that pairing from this fic. We'll see how it goes, ne? I'm looking forward to Mirio/Harry too! I'd read Mirio/Izuku fic too! I especially love the Soul Mate!AU one, the one that you can doodle on any part of your body and your soulmate can read them. Yep, you're right about that last bit. Though you can still see how unhinged Harry/Haruka is. Because her Occlumency sucks - I mean, Harry is better in Legillimens, isn't he? Heheh. Have a nice day!

 **To Linkskingsolomon:** Thank you. Yep, funny. You're abnormal if you're normal. *Snort* Oh, Harry. Have a nice day!

 **To julietmonells:** Thank you! I am planning to make Harry/Haruka to be able to enjoy this life. With Mirio to boot! *Squeal* And of course, with All Might, Izuku, Aizawa, Class 1-A - well, _everyone!_ This is a story about hurt/comfort after all. Healing. Harry needs that. Have a nice day! :D

 **To Suzukisuzu:** Thank you! I'm really glad that you like the fic. *Doing happy dances* Thank you for the reminder, dear reader! I am not planning to write gloomy!Haruka for far too long. It gets...redundant. But yes, you will get pity-me/self-harming (it's particularly bad in this chapter/dissociative-ness in early chapters. Though, rather than self-pity, I just think Haruka is too tired to deal with this new (strange) life that she almost like self-harming. I hope you will like this chapter too! Have a great day!

 **To Wicken25, god of all, IfritLeviathan, meep615, LunaSunFlowerLily, Maester Ta, cookiesNcream1703, TheMonitor1079, qqn, Guest:** Thank you for the review! I hope some of your questions will be answered in this chapter. Please enjoy this one too. Have a nice day! :D

* * *

 **Chapter 3:** Quirk

* * *

When Haruka opened her eyes to see the light speckled in the air, nearly as tangible as rain droplets, and amplified a bright sheen to the window so much so it had left a burst of colours splattered on the white wall, all she could feel was a sense of betrayal.

She felt abandoned.

Haruka thought she had gotten rid of that feeling.

(Abandonment required expectation.)

She thought wrong.

(Abandonment required _expectation_.)

It was that same gut-wrenching realisation when she woke up over and over again after closing her eyes at the sight of Death. After all those years— _those eternities_ —being reborn countless times, despite knowing, _living_ , with that knowledge — dared she still _hoped_.

(Once upon a time, hope had been her strength, something to hold on — to go on.)

It turned out she _still_ couldn't help but cling onto that foolish thought where Death would finally let her be.

(Hope had been her shield.)

She didn't realise that she still had that kind of hope left in her.

(A shield that was now crushed beyond repair.)

And that knowledge _ached_.

 **~X~**

They called her quirk 'Regeneration'.

Unoriginal, she first thought.

Wrong — was her second thought.

As unoriginal and wrong as they might be, it certainly sounded better than the word in her mind: immortal.

Haruka stopped listening when they said that her healing factor was an amazing power— _quirk_ —and how she could use that to her advantage if she ever wanted to pursue the hero business. There were talks about further tests and appointments but Haruka hadn't been paying attention to that also. She just wasn't bothered to.

"Isn't that great, Haruka-chan?" Glasses Caretaker had grinned at her after they had finished with the consultation, his face as bright as the sun as opposed to the dark mist hovering over him. "You have such an amazing quirk!"

Haruka thought of all the deaths she had faced, all the pain she had experienced, all the people she had left behind, intentionally displacing their faces just so she could continue living without feeling their echo of deaths hanging over her.

"Yes," Haruka smiled blandly and concentrated on the path before her. The road was cracked. "If you say so, Nii-san."

(Somewhere inside her, that flickering something snuffed out.)

 **~X~**

"Haruka-chan, stay behind please."

Haruka paused in the middle of packing her own things and looked back at Sensei. She watched the other children quickly shoved their belongings inside the bags and departed home. Some had glanced back curiously but they didn't linger.

Sensei approached her desk when the last of the children left. He was holding a paper. When he laid it down in front of her, Haruka realised that it was hers.

Haruka stiffened when she noticed what kind of drawing it was.

"Haruka-chan, can you tell me why did you draw this?" Sensei tapped on a picture of a person, of her (not Haruka, _other_ ), tied on a cross. Near the feet, Haruka had coloured a spread of orange all over. It was, unmistakably, fire.

A trickle of apprehension ran through Haruka's stomach but her voice remained level. "I saw it on a TV."

Haruka felt a phantom pain on the back of her right hand but she didn't move to rub it away.

(I must not tell lies.)

Sensei sighed, there was something in his voice that eased Haruka because it didn't sound like suspicion. It was resigned. It was the sound of a parent finding their children stealing cookies from a jar.

"You know you are not supposed to watch that kind of thing," Sensei reprimanded, glancing at the drawing with a slight grimace. "This stuff can give you nightmares."

(Flame licking her skin, bit by bit, and she could smell her own burnt meat mixed with the suffocating smoke.)

"I'm sorry, Sensei."

"Don't watch scary things anymore, okay?" Haruka nodded slowly. Sensei huffed and patted her head, ruffling her hair in the process. His brown eyes pinned her in place. "You're a good kid, Haruka-chan."

"Thank you, Sensei."

"…if you have any problem, tell Sensei, okay?"

"Okay," Haruka murmured.

(She was an immortal.)

"Okay, Sensei," she repeated.

She had to fix this.

(She was an immortal.)

She had to fix _this_.

 **~X~**

Haruka had never summoned Death in any of her disjointed lives. She didn't know if she could, didn't know why she would need to.

(To be subjected under the stare of _it_ — why would she?)

As long as she had lived, and it had been a _long_ time living, the only time she would see Death was when she was at her end, or when it had forcefully brought her back to life.

Death never talked to her.

(Haruka wasn't sure that she would listen.)

 **~X~**

One Sunday morning saw Haruka in front of an abandoned woods. She chose one that was slightly farther from the orphanage, away from prying eyes. There weren't any witnesses. She had made sure of that. Haruka had to be careful not to make many noises though. She didn't know if there were any heroes with the power of a heightened sense of hearing near the vicinity.

She might be discovered.

The woods weren't intimidating and looming at all. From afar, Haruka still could see the streams of light penetrated through the rustling leaves. The path was bright and clear.

It didn't feel forbidden to enter.

Haruka took a step forward.

She walked deeper into the woods, aimlessly, only stopping when she could no longer hear the chatter of life, the hum of vehicles. She stood alone among the trees. Silence.

Silence wasn't necessarily a good thing.

There was peaceful silence, a silence that came from contentment, when nothing ailed the mind, and then there was the kind of silence that filled with dread, anticipation thick and suffocating that body and mind just froze. The latter she experienced more. Left alone with it, ghosts would start to make their appearance.

(She was an immortal.)

They were inside her head, in her vision, among the dark mists — they were _everywhere_.

(She was an immortal.)

She was an immortal.

Haruka ignored her rampant thoughts and took off her clothes.

Bunny Man hoodie came off first.

Then her long sleeve shirt.

Then her pants.

Then another — until she stood there naked.

The cold was unforgiving, its breath chilly. Haruka tightened the grip on the broken branch, its bark digging on her skin, splinter.

She took a deep breath and stabbed herself right in the heart.

It felt strange inflicting the injury to herself. It felt like a taboo, a heinous crime. And yet Haruka had done it with sure, steady hands. Being impaled hurt — but since she was expecting it, the piercing pain could be swatted away without a thought.

Not without a thought, Haruka later amended as she stared with distant horror when she noted the skin knitted itself back and enveloped around the stake that was still _inside her_.

An edge of unexpected anxiety twisted Haruka's stomach and it rapidly rose to her head, her limbs, her very being. It flailed wildly, uncontrollable.

Panic, she thought. She was panicking.

Haruka pulled it out, the sheer force making her fell backwards. Her elbows hit the cold, hard ground first as black spots danced in her vision, familiar but not comforting, and she closed her eyes—

Haruka sat bolt upright, hastily touching her own chest. She rubbed away the dried blood, rubbed them raw even as the burning sensation increased on her chest, on her hands. She clawed her own skin, nails digging deeper and deeper until she could feel grit underneath them, grit that was dried blood.

It was gone.

The scar was _gone_.

Haruka threw up and stared at the puddle of slimy and blood-stained bile on the ground.

She was alive.

She stabbed herself in the heart — and she was still _alive_.

(She was an immortal.)

Haruka shook her head once, vision blurring and eyes stinging hot. She opened her mouth at the same time her vision tunnelled, and Haruka found herself standing in front of a castle. Smoke billowing from somewhere inside, black and concentrated.

Haruka _screamed_.

She screamed long and loud and _damning_ , consumed by the tempest, consumed by the rage and sadness and _everything_.

Haruka just screamed.

When the ache and rage ebbed away, the scream died out — leaving behind a phantom throb in her chest.

(She was an immortal.)

The smoke was still curling up into the sky, denser and blacker.

Haruka stood, stumbling into the ruins, one step after another, deeper and deeper into the well of her mind.

She had to fix it.

Immortal or not — Haruka had to fix _it_.

Haruka picked up one of the fallen bricks and placed it into its respective place. Then another and another, slowly and steadily before her movement turned erratic, hurried. _Desperate_.

She had to fix it.

Haruka stayed inside her mind for a long while, spending hours to build back her crumbled fortress, so much so when she finally returned to her conscious, her body was stiff and cold and the sky had already turned orange in the horizon.

She was still naked.

Haruka didn't feel the warmth even as she wore her shirt, didn't feel the warmth even as she put on the hoodie. She didn't feel anything even when she curled on the thick material that was once had been comforting and warm.

It was cold.

(She hated cold.)

By the time she got back, sky already turning a darker shade of orange, Haruka was greeted by the sight of Glasses Caretaker and Scruffy Caretaker in an argument near the gate. They weren't making much noises, there wasn't any yelling at least, but Glasses Caretaker's body gestures had been agitated as opposed to his usual calm demeanour.

"Haruka-chan!" Glasses Caretaker exclaimed when his eyes met hers. His relief was palpable as he pushed Scruffy Caretaker away in his hastiness to get to her. "Where have you been gone? We were worried."

" _You_ were," Scruffy Caretaker grumbled out, he seemed annoyed. "What did I just tell you? Haru-chan probably lost track of time. Aren't you, Haru-chan?" Haruka nodded absently, shoving her fists into the pockets of the Bunny Man hoodie in search for warmth. She found none. "See? You know how kids are."

"But," Glasses Caretaker faltered, his gaze focused on her as if he was searching for something. Haruka didn't know what he was looking for. "…please don't do it again, Haruka-chan. You do remember what time you should be home, don't you?"

"Yes, Nii-san," she answered mechanically. She was cold. "I'm sorry."

"There, all settled," Scruffy Caretaker huffed and ruffled her hair. "Now, run alon— _what the_ _hell?_ "

" _Language_ ," Glasses Caretaker hissed before frowning. "What is it?"

"Kid, you fell down in a gutter or something?" Scruffy Caretaker furrowed his brows in concern as he raised his hand, showing off the dirt on his palm before rubbing it off. He carded through her hair again. "Sheesh, where did you go play, Haru-chan? Your hair is so dirty."

"Ah, you're right," Glasses Caretaker echoed his agreement, his hand also picking up her strands of hair that clumped together. He sighed ruefully. "Maybe we should cut your hair."

" _No_."

Glasses Caretaker blinked in surprise. A beat later and he smiled. "Okay. If you don't want to cut your hair, that's fine."

"You just have to take a long bath," Scruffy Caretaker interjected. "An _extra_ long one."

Haruka nodded slowly, hand gripping on her hair.

She was an immortal.

It was cold.

(She _loathed_ cold.)

It was so, _so_ cold.

 **~X~**

Living as long as she was, Haruka learnt how to deal with things that were better left untouched. And that was what exactly she did. She left them untouched. Even if her mind whispered their wickedness, different voices tempting her to think and think and _think_ — Haruka didn't touch them at all.

Or at least, she tried not to.

(She was an immortal.)

Sometimes, the voices won and she would be shrouded with guilt and dread, heavy on her shoulders, heavy on her chest, until she couldn't breathe. Those days, when she woke up, she never could seem to ground herself properly. Faces that shouldn't be in this world appeared all over like a reminder. It stung, somewhat.

Occlumency helped her a lot. Or meditation. Or a mixture of both.

Retreating to her mind grounded her, even though she would find unnamed voices in the well of it. They drifted off in the dim lit halls, in hidden passages, left unattended, because Haruka didn't keep the door shut. She did, though. Keeping the door shut. But even if she did, some had always managed to go out of their own. Like Bushy Hair and Messy Eater. Or Lone Eye Man. Or Greasy Hair.

(Greasy Hair always caught her when she was in the middle of repairing her mindscape, always with that same dripping menace and sarcasm in his voice. He guided more than he barked though, even if he taunted her a lot.)

They were all leftovers from Just Harry's. Just Harry's memories were the strongest, the purest — the ones that she would mostly keep even when she wasn't Haruka.

Just Harry was safe. Just Harry was familiar.

(Just Harry was _grounding_.)

Haruka's mind was extensive and cluttered. Very much cluttered. It had been a castle. Once. Now it was just ruins that needed too much maintenance. Maintenance that Haruka couldn't quite give. Couldn't quite afford to.

(Because each time she reborn, a part of them would crumble and she had to start repairing them all over.)

She protected the innermost part since it was the most important. The heart of everything. The thing that kept her grounded (Just Harry). That place was ever changing though, depending on her mood, just like the once castle had been. More often than not, the core of it would be a room with a big couch near a fireplace. The room might change, but it still held the essential things inside and that was enough.

They were enough.

(They had to be enough.)

They _had_ to.

 **~X~**

Sometime later, between repairing her mindscape and ignoring the vicious reminder of her own echoing voice, Haruka acquired a limpet.

It came in a form of a little girl with brown hair and grey eyes. She was the youngest child, the one that Haruka had inadvertently saved from the fall.

She was clingy. Attached.

That fact was surprising because all of the other children seemed to be avoiding her after that incident. Their gazes were wary, especially the older ones. The two children who were the same age as her were indecisive but leaning more towards following others' reaction, skirting around her like she was some kind of disease.

Haruka had expected this.

Haruka didn't expect Limpet Girl though.

"Ne, ne, Hawu-nee." Haruka turned towards the voice, automatically pinning her eyes on the other. Limpet Girl was grinning, her gap toothy grin plastered on her face. "What are you doin'?"

"Helping Nee-san."

"Can I help too?"

"No."

"Ehh," Limpet Girl whined, voice dragging off. In the span of a heartbeat, Limpet Girl's expression became sullen and she looked ready to cry. She tugged the hem of Haruka's shirt. "Why not?"

Haruka paused, staring at the small hand latching on her shirt before cautiously removing it. It wouldn't end well if the girl pulled it too harshly, the bowl Haruka was holding could drop. She didn't need the extra cleaning.

"It's dangerous," she pointed out, absently drying off the next plate. "Nee-san will be mad if you drop them."

"I will not!" Limpet Girl said hotly. "I pwomise! Please, I want to help! Please, please, please, please, please?"

Haruka wavered. For a moment, she thought she saw bright amber eyes with white, pointy teeth, so eager to please, so young and innocent. Cub had been gone through this phase too, trying to help around the house even if he was still very small.

(Just Harry had to clean up after Cub's well-meaning help in the end and that had greatly amused Wolf. Just Harry didn't mind though.)

Limpet Girl wasn't Cub.

But there was something in Limpet Girl that reminded Haruka of him. It wasn't her voice, wasn't her face, _wasn't anything_ — but Haruka took that chance, that reminder, that echo, because she needed a distraction.

(She was an immortal.)

Ones that didn't come from the voices in her head or the ghosts of the pasts.

(She was an immortal.)

Distraction from that extinguished flame.

Distraction from everything this world had offered — that _Death_ had offered.

Haruka never managed to get rid of the little girl after that day.

(She wondered then if she would even remember the colour of her hair and eyes when years passed by, if Haruka would even remember that she reminded her of Cub.)

 **~X~**

Haruka was lounging under a shadowy patch of a tree in the yard, having been forcefully hauled out of her room once again to play with Limpet Girl, when she picked up frantic voices of children not too far ahead.

She blinked, subconsciously coming out of her hiding place.

(Bushy Hair had always told her that she was prone to seek trouble. Haruka didn't think she did. Troubles usually followed her like a hound sniffing for blood.)

There was a niggling sense of… _something_. That something came to her from somewhere between a voice of instinct and a gut feeling. It felt familiar.

It felt like _magic_.

Magic was directly linked to the soul, not the containers, but Haruka never felt it sung inside her like it did when she was Just Harry.

Magic had been _Just Harry's_.

(Death had never given her full access to magic after Just Harry, only a trickle of it, a dilution of that concentrated power.)

But now, Haruka could _feel_ it — that song, that homecoming, and it was so, _so_ familiar that her chest scorched with longing.

The same longing that landed her into this situation where her soul stuck between the death and the living.

(She was an immortal.)

She stiffened, instinctively drawing back.

Why now? What changed?

After all this time — _why?_

None of her musings changed the fact that the children were panicking, none of them changed the fact that Limpet Girl was bawling hysterically. _None_.

"What happened?"

Haruka stared at the crying little girl, her face blotchy red. The little girl's hand was twisted in an awkward angle, blood seeping into her dress, turning the once faded blue dress into bright crimson. The shadow behind her flailed, it flickered in and out of existence, trying to bring comfort but its hands only passed through her.

"Ha-Hawu-nee!" Teary grey eyes pierced her own, pleading and desperate, and reminded her of Cub. "I-it _hurts_ …! It hurts, Hawu-nee!"

 _"_ _It hurts, _!" Cub sobbed out. "Hurts! Papa! _!"_

Cub had been crying out, calling out her name (to Just Harry), calling out for his father, screaming and lashing wildly, as he slowly and painfully transformed into something else. Into something furry and full of sharp teeth. No longer was his eyes bright and innocent, only animalistic.

There was no recognition at all.

When Haruka stepped forward, the sight of Cub hurling towards her with all claws and teeth wavered. There was only Limpet Girl, sobbing had left her a snotty mess.

"It's okay."

 _"_ _No, _! Don't—"_

"It's okay," Haruka soothed. "I know it hurts."

She kneeled on the ground. The tugging sensation increased in intensity, leaving her chest to thud erratically in anticipation.

"It's okay."

(Wolf had been yelling at her, his form partially transformed. He'd been screaming her name. And Cub's name. Over and over again.)

"You're going to be okay," Haruka promised.

When Haruka embraced Cub (Limpet Girl), something inside her _burst_. Heat enveloped every inch of her body, raging over the bloodstream and pumping hotter and hotter still.

(It wasn't cold.)

Before her eyes, Cub's (Limpet Girl's) injury healed.

She heard noises all around her, but Haruka was distracted by the image of Limpet Girl's (Cub's) surprise, by a child's (Wolf's) screaming, by the _warmth_.

It _wasn't_ cold.

Limpet Girl crumpled to the ground at the same time the warmth receded. Inside her, something was bubbling up. It rapidly grew, bigger and bigger until it just slipped away from Haruka's fingers. Uncontainable.

Pain bloomed on her hand as another scream rang out.

"Your _hand…!_ "

Haruka lifted her hand that was now all twisted and dripping blood. It was an exact replica of Limpet Girl's injury.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

There was a beat of moment before the strange tugging sensation came again. Wavering and flickering. It was different than before, wasn't as warm, but it moved inside her like it was alive, sentient— _like magic_ —and Haruka just _pulled_.

Her hand healed almost instantaneously, not a blemish on sight, at the same time exhaustion creeping to her.

When Haruka fell beside Limpet Girl, she noted how the crimson had turned to faded blue again.

(Haruka was right. They were wrong.)

 **~X~**

(She was an immortal.)

She was an immortal.

She was an immortal, she thought.

Then she stopped to ponder at the thought.

(Crimson turned faded blue — not a blemish on sight.)

She was an immortal.

…

…

…

…was she?

* * *

 **Dammit, Haruka! You should be more aware of your surroundings! The readers are going to hate you with how unreliable your POV is. Hmm, maybe I should put that as a warning? Unreliable narrator!Harry. Lol.**

 **So, who wants to take a guess of what Haruka's quirk is? Regeneration? Sure - but _is it?_ Even Haruka had an epiphany in the end - and I don't think that she wants to share that with you guys anytime soon. But I'll give you a hint - when Haruka stabbed herself, why Death _didn't_ come? **

**The dark mist/shadows are not reapers. Still can't guess? Well, next chapter should clarify your answer though.**

 **If you didn't read the A/N above, I suggest you scroll back and do that.**

 **Thanks to all that follows, favourites and reviews this story - I appreciate that a lot! Please let me know what you think about this. :D**


End file.
